How Our Circles Limit Us
I was in constant contact with a VP colleague a few years back. We’d catch up every few weeks and chat about EDI topics and anything else that would pop up. I genuinely appreciated these conversations; it’s rare to bridge such gaps in experience and perspective in the corporate world.
One day, the VP shared something that revealed how much we sometimes stay within our own circles. They told me they wanted their kids to be more exposed to people of colour and asked, a little hesitantly, if enrolling them in basketball would be an appropriate way to do that. Their intent was well-meaning, but it brought an issue to the surface that’s easy to overlook: our bubbles limit us. Here was a senior leader whose first thought was to approach diversity through basketball. This showed just how narrow our perspectives can become when we don’t engage with differences more broadly in our daily lives.
The Bubble We Live In
We all live in bubbles, shaped by the routines, communities, and activities that are familiar to us. Over time, without meaning to, we can limit our lives to these comfort zones, surrounding ourselves with people who look, think, and live like we do. We might go to work, spend time with family and friends, join a club, or even sit next to the same people at our kids’ soccer games—all while unconsciously creating walls around ourselves. And these walls don’t just shield us from seeing the diversity around us; they stop us from fully engaging with it.
The colleague’s question was a classic example of this. They didn’t realize that people of colour are everywhere in society, not limited to certain activities or groups. But bubbles are like that—they don’t just narrow our perspectives; they give us a warped view of the world.
The reality is, difference is all around us, but we often avoid it without thinking. How often do we make a point to invite difference to the table, not as an experiment, but as an enriching part of our lives? Do we actively create spaces in our lives where diverse perspectives are invited in and valued?
Imagine if, instead of looking for diversity within specific activities, we looked around us at the coffee shop, at work, in the stands at a sports game, or even at our kids’ schools. So often, we stick with what’s familiar—we talk to the same types of people, share meals with those who look like us, and have conversations with people whose life experiences mirror our own. But what if we chose to sit with difference, to make space for it in our lives, not as a one-time experience, but as an everyday commitment?
Moving Beyond the Bubble: A Few Ideas
Expanding our circles isn’t about checking off a box or dabbling in diversity when it’s convenient. It’s about embracing difference as part of our daily lives. Here are a few ways to start creating spaces for difference, wherever we are:
Look Around, Not Beyond - Instead of searching for difference in specific spaces, look around the places you’re already in. Who haven’t you connected with at work, in your community, or at your kids’ school? Make a point to introduce yourself to someone outside your usual circle and genuinely listen to their perspective.
Challenge Your Assumptions - Bubbles are built on assumptions we don’t even realize we’re making. When you catch yourself associating certain activities or spaces with certain people, pause and ask yourself why. Is it based on real understanding or on stereotypes?
Practice Everyday Inclusion - Inclusion doesn’t have to be limited to work or organized events; it’s something we can bring into our lives daily. Make it a practice to invite different perspectives into your conversations, to read books or watch films that offer a new lens, or to choose to sit next to someone with a different experience than ours at a gathering.
Accept the Discomfort - Expanding our circles isn’t always easy or comfortable. It often means confronting our own unexplored areas or stepping into spaces where we’re the ones who feel different. But that discomfort is where real growth happens—and it’s where we learn that difference is a gift, not a threat.
Why It Matters
It would have been easy to assume the colleague’s question came from a lack of awareness. But it was more than that—it reflected how, over time, we all start seeing the world in a certain way if we’re not careful. If we only invite certain people into our spaces, we start associating diversity with certain settings or roles, unconsciously reinforcing stereotypes without even realizing it. And as long as we stay within our circles, we miss out on the richness of what other perspectives can offer.
The lesson here? Living in a bubble doesn’t just limit our view of the world—it limits us. We grow when we make a commitment to invite diversity into our lives, not occasionally, but constantly. And as we do, we discover that people’s lives, talents, and stories can’t be reduced to stereotypes or assumptions. It’s a reminder that diversity isn’t something you go out and “find.” It’s something you open yourself up to, and, in doing so, open up the world around you.
